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Q. I was at the bar when you got here. Why aren’t I first in your rotation?
A. It’s impossible for me to know who got here first, who wants to sing, and if they’re ready to sing. As soon as I have my equipment set up, please let me know if you’d like to be put in rotation. Names will be put on the list in the order they are received.
Q. But I waved at you. Isn’t that enough?
A. Nope. But I’ll wave back.
Q. I’ve been here before, why don’t you remember my name and what I sang last time?
A. I’m getting old, my memory isn’t great, and I get hundreds of requests in a week. The more often you come to my shows, the more I’ll remember. If you’d like me to save a playlist of everything you sing, just let me know when you turn in your name.
Q. Do I have to have a song picked out to turn in my name?
A. No, but you need to know what you want to sing by the time we call your name.
Q. Can I turn in more than one song at a time?
A. Yes but you may not have time to sing them all.
Q. Why did you let someone sing my song?
A. If you write a song you don’t want anyone else to sing, don’t release it on karaoke. If you didn’t write it then it’s not your song. (Unless it is “Your Song” by Elton John or Garth Brooks, but anyone can still sing it.)
Q. Can I sing a song someone else has already sung tonight?
A. Yes, but only on the following rotation. Simon Cowell isn’t here so it’s not a competition.
Q. Do I have to look up my song and write it down? Do I need the disc ID number?
A. No. I actually prefer it if you just tell me your name and what you want to sing. If you can’t find the song you’re looking for, just ask.
Q. What do you have by The Beatles etc.?
A. I have over 70,000 songs. I’d be happy to look up a specific song, but I don’t have time to read you my entire songbook. My books are available @ KJHeather.com
Q. When I try to access your books from my phone, why does it download them?
A. My books are online as pdf files. They are under 4mb in size. (Smaller than most mp3 song files). They can be opened with Adobe, Kindle, and most office programs. After downloading the books, you can access them without accessing the internet or using more of your data plan. Web based books would continuously use your data.
Q. Do I need to know the title and artist?
A. No, but I may not be able to find the right song without all the info. If you only tell me you want to sing “Angel”, you’re gonna be singing Shaggy or Aerosmith unless you specify Sarah Mclachlan.
(Seriously, I love Shaggy!)
Q. What should I sing?
A. History shows I’m not very good at this game. Most of my suggestions are followed by “no, not that song.” My go to answer will now be “If I only had a brain” from The Wizard Of Oz. This will alert everyone that you are incapable of making a decision so they can act accordingly.
Q. What is that song by the guy who wears a cowboy hat? (Yes, I’m asked this frequently.)
A. You’re probably thinking of “Friends in low places” and yes I have it. (While I love name that tune and am pretty good at it, you can google song lyrics to find what you’re looking for.)
Q. Can I sing “Picture”?
A. Technically yes, but the regulars have heard it 28,382,493,928 times. They will probably groan no matter how well you sing it. Don’t take it personally. (You can stop shooting me dirty looks now. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.)
Q. How does your rotation work? Why do you keep adding people to the bottom of the list? Can you move my name in rotation?
A. Names are put in rotation in the order they are received. Most people stay on the list all night. If I move your name to the bottom of the rotation after every time you sing, I’d do it for everybody. The list wouldn’t change much and I’d spend too much time rewriting the list. The rotation starts over when I reach the end or halfway through the show, whichever comes first. If my rotation is short, new singers will be added to the end. If my rotation is long, I will fit in new singers between people who have already sung. (Imagine coming in 2 hours before the bar closes and being told you won’t have time to sing because we just started the rotation over.) I try to give everyone a chance to sing. You’ll appreciate it if you ever come in late.
Q. What time do you stop taking requests?
A. On some night I can accept requests until the last 15 mins of the show. Other nights my list is full an hour before close. As always, it is first come first serve.
Q. Why did I see the same person sing twice since my last turn.
A. While you can only be in the rotation once, you may sing with someone else on their turn, or have someone sing with you on yours. You can’t just grab the extra mic. The singer must let me know they want you to sing with them.
Q. I turned in my friend’s name and now they don’t want to sing or someone didn’t come up for their song. Can I have their turn?
A. No. If you want to sing you must turn in your name. If you are already in rotation you must wait your turn.
Q. You skipped me while I was outside, in the bathroom, or abducted by aliens. Can I sing now?
A. Let me know if you missed your turn and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Yell at me and you can wait the whole rotation again.
Q. If the rotation stays the same, why aren’t I after the same person every time?
A. Sometimes people are skipped for one song. (See previous answer.) Some people only sing one song or may leave early. Just because the same person isn’t directly before you doesn’t mean I skipped you.
Q. Why did you call my name when I don’t have a song turned in?
A. Most people want to sing every chance they get. Many singers have a playlist in my computer and don’t tell me their song until they come up to sing. If you don’t want to sing again, just let me know.
Q. Why did you take me out of rotation?
A. If you don’t come up when we call your name, I will assume you are gone or you don’t want to sing again. If you haven’t turned in a song and had no idea what to sing last time we called you, I will assume you don’t want to sing again. If we are running out of time and won’t get around again, I begin erasing the list. If you damage my equipment, harass other singers or are too drunk to walk, I will remove you from the list.
Q. Why can’t I sing right now since it’s my Birthday, Anniversary, Family reunion, last day on earth etc.?
A. You knew it was your birthday etc. when you got here. You should have turned in your song then. You still have to wait your turn like everyone else.
Q. If I give you $5 can I sing next?
A. No. Would you accept $5 to alienate all of your loyal customers? All cash will be considered a tip unless it is enough for me to retire on. Cash only.
Q. Why do people applaud when the singer was terrible?
A. We’re all here to have fun and it takes guts to get up to sing especially if you’re not good. Be nice! Sometime we applaud because it’s good. Sometime we applaud because it’s over.
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